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Financial Domination Support Group

Hi Guys, welcome to my journal.

I’m an ex money slave, who had a severe addiction to financial domination.  I created this site to help other guys learn how to overcome their addiction, and to warn anyone interested in 'trying out' this extremely dangerous fetish of the dangers it holds.  Now, I know this journal is quite controversial, and will likely attract some negative attention from both financial dommes, and financial slaves who are so deeply entrenched in their addiction they are beyond help.  If this is you, please, click the back button on your browser.  This site isn’t for you - it’s for financial slaves who are struggling to get over their addiction and who really want to change, and start living and enjoying their lives without the burden of financial slavery holding them back.

Financial slavery is quite complex, and unfortunately is a very rare and undocumented addiction, so there is very little support and advice available. I’m no psychologist, but I aim to provide some pointers here to help guys get back on track and start living their life for themselves, without sacrificing it for their Dommes.  The advice I provide here is just that - advice.   Everything I mention here has been tried and tested by myself, but please understand that any actions you take from reading this site are your responsibility.

Financial slavery is a psychological addiction, with characteristics similar to other major addictions, such as porn addiction and gambling addiction. It also has aspects of relationship co-dependence.  As such it is rather difficult to solve, however I do provide some information in this site to help overcome these issues. Rest assured, this challenge CAN BE SOLVED. It just requires determination, will power, self-discipline and a bit of work.  This is a challenge.  Once you succeed and get out of this addiction, you will be a much stronger, wiser and more self-disciplined individual.

The Dangers of Financial domination

The dangers and consequences of financial domination are not just financial, they include many other areas including social, interpersonal and your own health and wellbeing:

  • Lack of money / poverty
  • Inability to appreciate sexual intercourse or reach orgasm without fantasizing about submitting financially to ones Domme (development of a fetish)
  • Loneliness and social issues
  • Guilt and 'secrets'
  • Loss of job
  • Divorce
  • Bankruptcy
  • Valuable time wasted
  • Decreased academic/job performance
  • Addiction
  • Assaulted self-esteem
  • Depression and unhappiness
  • Poor, unhealthy lifestyle
  • A wasted life

Offset this against the benefits - a mindblowing orgasm and believing you have pleased a woman (who probably doesn't appreciate your effort), and you can see that financial domination really is not worth pursuing or engaging in.

Psychology of Financial Slavery

The vast power of financial domination stems from the way it's deeply wired into ones sex drive and emotions.  The fundamental root of the pleasure obtained from submitting to a woman financially resides in the value system.  The value system rewards us with pleasure each time one of our values is fulfilled.  The value system is designed to prolong and enhance life, but the value system assumes all values are positive and life enhancing.  If somehow, intentionally or accidentally, we acquire a negative value (such as the value of submitting financially to a woman), then whenever we fulfill this value, we are rewarded with pleasure.  The value system cannot differentiate between a positive value that is meant to enhance our life, and a negative value that  restricts our life, so whenever a negative value like submitting financially is triggered, we are rewarded with pleasure as though it were a positive, life enhancing value.  This explains why financial domination is so addictive and pleasurable, and why it is so challenging to overcome.

A slaves belief system also holds a big key to the addiction.  Whatever one believes about themselves and their world is true to them.  When I was a slave I believed that I was worthless, pathetic, a loser, and that women were superior to myself and all men on earth!  These beliefs are not the ones someone with genuinely high levels of self-esteem would possess.
These beliefs developed from my inaccurate perception of the world (chiefly how I perceived rejections from women in my early youth), low self-esteem, BDSM and D/s porn (this was a VERY big influencer for me), and from the feminist programming from the media and the world in general.
When one realizes that one is NOT worthless, that one has tremendous value both to the world and to a woman one can have a loving relationship with, ones self esteem is raised and his desire to submit decreases.  This brings me to my nerdy formula!  The degree of ones 'submissiveness' is inversely proportional to ones level of self-esteem:

Submissiveness proportional to 1/self-esteem

sorry... I couldn't help it! I'm a scientist at heart, in all this text there had to be an equation somewhere! lol

In addition to exploiting this negative value and the negative beliefs many slaves possess, many financial dommes employ hypnosis and NLP to anchor your feelings of arousal and orgasm to sending them cash!  They also exploit human behaviors, such as social proof, commitment and consistency, the friendship factor/liking and scarcity to add further punches to their already deadly anchors.  These methods of persuasion can be seen on pretty much all financial domme websites, in their Livejournal entries as well in some of their videos.  Almost everything you get from a financial domme is in some way designed to keep you addicted.  Financial dommes are very intelligent, manipulative and sneaky individuals and produce highly elaborate schemes to anchor emotions and trigger them strategically so you'll spend more on them and stick with them for longer.
When a slave buys gifts or tributes his Domme, he feels a sense of importance and self-worth, that he has pleased and helped his Domme.  This is another aspect of the addiction, where one can easily become addicted to feeling good about buying gifts for his Domme.  The slave also gains psychological trust, and acquires 'pay momentum' where he is more likely to submit further in the future to prove to himself and the domme that he is consistent.

Thoughts and habits in the mind are like paths in grass.  The more one thinks about or acts on a thought, the deeper and more worn the path becomes.  Therefore the more one exposes ones self to financial domination (or any form of submissive D/s - including porn), the more his subconscious mind is programmed and influenced to be submissive.  The more his mind is programmed, the harder it is to overcome the addiction.
A surefire indication that you have been influenced by the contents of the subconscious mind is if you dream about being dominated - either consciously day dreaming, or subconsciously when you sleep.

Read Influence by Dr Robert Cialdini for more information about the various influence and persuasion tactics dommes may use, it's a very insightful book!
Also, Frogs Into Princes by Bandler & Grinder, and Introducing NLP by O'Connor and Seymour are two books which offer vast quantities of information about NLP and anchoring.  Frogs Into Princes is the original book on NLP by the founders of NLP, Richard Bandler and John Grinder.  It is currently out of print, but there are copies available on Amazon and eBay, but expect to pay highly for them - my copy was $80 (and it says $7.50 on the back!) - it's a good book though, and worth every penny.
The Psychology of Self-Esteem by Dr. Nathaniel Branden covers the value system in detail, and also covers many other aspects of self-esteem.  It's a must read book if you are serious about overcoming this addiction!
The Mechanism of Mind by Edward DeBono covers the way in which memories and habits form in the mind (the grass track analogy).  It's quite technical, but a very interesting read.

Types of financial slave

I believe there are 4 types of financial slaves:

1) The 'fantasizing slave' - This guy browses all the toplists and livejournal pages for financial dommes, and fantasizes about being enslaved and dominated by them.  He lurks, but doesn't act on his desires. 

2) The media fantasist - This guy acts on his desires by buying media, such as pictures or videos from the financial domme.  By doing so, he is gaining psychological trust with the domme, and gaining 'commitment and consistency' which increases the probability of further future submission dramatically.  This seemingly small initial purchase may snowball into mass buying of all the dommes videos and pictures, which can amount to several hundred dollars.  This is the start of the 'real' addiction.

3) The 'Junior' Financial Slave - This guy contacts the domme, either in response to one of the requests in one of the dommes videos (e.g. 'email me for further instruction', 'email me for permission to cum', 'spoil me', etc), or just from her website.  He buys gifts from her wishlist, sends giftcards, or tributes her on niteflirt.  At first these tributes are relatively small, but as the addiction grows, he starts spending more and more on his Domme.  He may also try to compete with other guys to be her 'favorite pet'. 

4) The 'Mature' Financial Slave - This is a guy who has served his Domme for extended periods of time.  He likely has a good relationship with his Domme, and gives her 80+% of his disposable income.  I have never been here myself, so my advice for overcoming this type of problem would just be theory and hypothesis from some of the books I have read on addictions and psychology.  This guy is likely to be deeply in debt and suffering severe consequences for his actions.  If anyone has overcome this, which I am sure there will be, please contact me and let me know how you succeeded.  I also have a forum up for guys to post to where they can share their experiences.

Overcoming the addiction

In brief, I believe the following ideas are essential to overcome this addiction:

1)    Acknowledge the problem and accept 100% responsibility for it
2)    Make a decision to overcome the addiction
3)    Get Pissed Off!!!
4)    Set Goals
5)    Increase your self-esteem
6)    Create 'conventional' sex habits
7)    Learn seduction and find your ideal woman

Acknowledge the problem and accept 100% responsibility

It’s so important that you realize how serious this addiction is.  If you are currently a slave you’ll know exactly what the problems are.  If you’re a 'fantasizing slave' STOP NOW!!! You will eventually be lured in, it’s only a matter of time.  I lurked for almost 2 years before I finally gave in and paid, and paid dearly I did.  This is no joke it’s a serious addiction that can truly fuck up your life!

It can be easy to blame your Domme, but really all the blame rests on yourself.  It is essential to accept 100% responsibility for your actions.  The dommes INFLUENCED you to act, they didn't FORCE you to act.  They employ mind persuasion, not mind control.
The sooner you accept 100% responsibility for your actions, the sooner you can free yourself from this addiction.

Make a decision to overcome the addiction

Now you have acknowledge 100% responsibility, it's important to take this to the next step.  Now its time to take responsibility for OVERCOMING the addiction.  Make a decision to overcome the addiction!  Once the decision has been made, it has been made and there is no going back.  Write the decision down on paper to make it more 'real' and lock it deeper into your subconscious.  Totally detach from the option of going back. 

Get pissed off!!!!!

Emotions are VERY powerful things.  All emotions can be used as motivation.  The financial dommes use your emotions of orgasm, sex drive and feelings of importance to motivate you to tribute them. 
I think the quickest approach to overcoming financial domination is to get pissed off!!! Really get mad!  Get so mad your anger exceeds your desire to submit, so mad you don’t want to give her any more of your money.  Whenever you think of your Goddess, don’t run thoughts of giving her all your weeks wage, think THE FUCKING BITCH HOW DARE SHE ARRRRGH!!! Get REALLY MAD!  Eventually, this anger will be anchored onto your thoughts you have of your Goddess, and these thoughts will overwrite your thoughts of surrendering financially to her.  This was the most powerful exercise that helped me.  It’s simple but effective.
Now, a word of warning.  Do not let your anger gain control of you.  Just use it as fuel to motivate you to overcome your addiction.  Don't blame your domme or yourself too much, just get angry when you think about your domme or submitting to her, but don't get so mad you have an aneurysm! 
Anger is a very powerful emotion and you will find that it will overwrite your desire to submit, so when your feeling anger, when you are pissed off, there is no way you can think of surrendering to your domme!  But remember the old spider man line: ‘With great power comes great responsibility’ – use your anger in constructive ways to overcome your addiction, not in negative destructive or harmful ways.

This stage will effectively 'overwrite' any anchors you have in your mind to submitting to your domme, and will also give you motivation to overcome your addiction, but it won't solve the core, fundamental root of the addiction - the negative value of financial domination in the value system.  This means, although you won't feel the desire to submit to your specific domme, you may still find the thought of submitting to 'a domme' arousing.  If you persist, you can get to a manageable level where you no longer want to submit to any domme whatsoever.  This is the level where I am right now :).  All it takes is persistence for a few weeks, and you can be here too.

Set Goals

I think it’s very important to set goals for things YOU want to achieve in YOUR life!  Do you know how long the average person lives?  The figure may shock you.  The average person only lives around 28251 days!!!  That’s not a long time!!  Do you want to look back on your life and see yourself not really accomplishing anything (apart from getting in a shitload of debt)?

One of the best visualization exercises I know that can give you a big kick up the ass to make yourself change is to imagine yourself 80 years old or so, sitting in the retirement home on the last day of your life, looking back on your life knowing that your time is done, and nothing else can be done.  You think about all the times you could have changed, all the things you could have done, all the great things in the world you could have experienced, but didn't.
Do you really want to be the guy who regrets his life?  I know I don't! 
If you do this visualization properly you'll feel down and depressed - and even more motivated than ever to overcome this addiction.

Setting goals is easy, but there is a structure to them though. 

There are 4 main requirements of a goal:

1) The goal must be PERSONAL
2) The goal must be POSITIVE!
3) The goal must be MEASURABLE
4) The goal must be SPECIFIC

The questions below provide a good outline for your goals.

By answering the questions below for yourself, in detail, you should feel a sense of motivation to overcome your addiction and start living your life for YOU, not for your domme.  ANYTHING is possible, if you want to be a millionaire, put it down as a goal.  I know I want to be a millionaire before I turn 40.  That’s one of my goals.  Remember goals must be personal, positive, measurable and specific. E.g.:
I will earn $1Million per annum before the age of 40

So now it’s your turn…

How much do you want to earn in 5 years time?
How much do you want to earn in 10 years time?
How much do you want to earn in 20 years time?
How much savings do you want?
How much do you want to retire with?
Where do you want to live?
What car do you want to drive?
What would your ideal girlfriend or wife look like?
Where would you like to travel to in the world?

It is always a good idea to write out your goals on paper.  This makes your goal a goal, not just a wish. Some people even suggest writing them in a spiral notebook and rewriting them every morning.

Get yourself a copy of Brian Tracy's The Psychology of Achievement for more information about goal setting.  It's a very insightful audio program.  You can get yourself a copy from www.briantracy.com.

Increase your self-esteem

From my studies into psychology, I believe that the root to financial domination and many other problems is low self-esteem.  People with low self-esteem, or a low self-concept that pertains to women, are far more likely to submit to a ‘Goddess’ they perceive to be superior to them.  They degrade and humiliate themselves for the entertainment of their Goddess, just to suffer themselves.  They may get excited sexually, but subconsciously they are reinforcing their negative self-esteem each time they submit and humiliate themselves and act in ways that individuals with low self-esteem act.  On the flip side, people with high self-esteem don’t give their hard earned cash over to some beautiful woman online, they don’t beg for permission to cum, they don’t eat their cum after their Goddess has given them the privilege to cum.  People with high self-esteem would think that is CRAZY!

So, how do we improve our self-esteem?

Dr Nathaniel Branden in his book ‘How to raise your self-esteem’ talks about the importance of living consciously.  I truly believe this is extremely important when it comes to overcoming financial domination addictions.  Living consciously basically means seeing the world as it is, whether you like it or not, free from any perceptions or 'delusions' you have.  See the world LOGICALLY rather than emotionally!  When you get horny and your mind goes all fuzzy and euphoric just as your about to send your Goddess $600, your living unconsciously and emotionally!  You're living a fantasy that is detached from and avoiding reality.  Whenever you get into this state STEP BACK AND STOP!!!!! See it logically AS IT IS!!!  She's a woman, you’re a guy, your handing over a shitload of cash – but why?  Because she’s a Goddess? Lmfao that woman goes for a shit in the morning just like you, she’s nothing particularly special, just a woman!  She's no Goddess, she’s just an attractive woman out to make a quick killing!  That’s reality!  It's harsh, but true.
Another important aspect of raising self-esteem is to ACT as though you already have high self-esteem.  Self-esteem is like a vicious circle.  If you have low self-esteem, you act in ways that low self esteem people act (e.g. believing your only worth to a woman is the money you give her, drinking cum because your 'goddess' says so, etc).  This further reinforces your low self-esteem.  People with high self esteem would never dream of doing such a thing!  Act like someone with high self-esteem, and eventually you'll start thinking like them, and your addiction to financial slavery will be a thing of the past!

Create 'conventional' sex habits

Now, as I described earlier, financial domination is brought about by constantly thinking and associating the feeling of orgasm to sending dommes money.  The more this association is triggered, the deeper it becomes and the harder it is to break free.
If you have done the 'Get pissed off!' exercise, you will find that you no longer feel aroused by submitting to your domme, BUT you still have a sex drive to satisfy! 
Now, I use porn to rewire my mind to associate my sex drive with sex, rather than sending money to my domme or submitting to a Mistress.  I watch conventional porn (No BDSM/Ds!) and I associate with the man in the video - I visualize myself stepping into him, seeing what he sees, hearing what he hears, and feeling how good it feels to be fucking a super hot babe!  When you do this at first, it feels pretty boring and dull as it's not as good as the orgasm you get from submitting financially, but as you persevere and keep doing the exercise, eventually your mind will reconnect your sex drive back to sex, rather than sending money to your domme, and you will feel the same explosive orgasm when you watch this porn to when you submitted financially to your domme!
Once you have your sex drive anchored back to sex porn, you will find that real sex is more pleasurable too, and you don't have to fantasize about your fetishes in order to cum.  Your addiction to financial domination will be over, and you can start living your life for yourself and enjoying the pleasures sex can bring!

Learn seduction and find yourself a girlfriend

This is another big one.  I believe that people who are addicted to financial domination really, deep down, have a strong desire to be in a loving relationship with a beautiful woman.  I know I do.  I believe that most guys into financial slavery see beautiful women as totally out of their reach, and feel that the only way to please them is with their cash.  This is a huge insecurity and misconception (and a manifestation of low self-esteem!).

Now, being a financial slave hasn’t been totally negative for me.  I have learned some fascinating truths about human behavior and influence.  I learned that we all make decisions emotionally, but women do so far more than men do.  Our decision to tribute our domme is purely emotional, and women feel a powerful emotion to guys who they are attracted to.
Now, contrary to popular belief, women are seldom attracted to super rich guys, tall guys, handsome guys, etc.  It helps, but it's not essential.  The idea that you must be tall, dark and handsome, and super rich to get a woman of value is all bullshit programming we have invented ourselves as excuses for our failure with women, programming we got from the media and retail world who want to sell us the best growth hormone pills, hair regrowth formulas and penis enlargement pills, and from our friends who really don't know any better as they are exposed to the same programming as everyone!
These attributes- good looks, wealth, etc RARELY evoke EMOTIONS in a woman.  Sure, sometimes an attractive or wealthy man can make a women feel initial attraction / lust, but that alone usually will NOT justify her dating him. Most of these pointers are LOGICAL aspects, not emotional ones.  Women are not like computers, they don’t have a script in their mind that logically totals up all your attributes and at the end if you exceed a threshold her attraction mechanism is enabled, else it’s not.
NO!! Women just ‘have a feeling!’  In fact, women can even date guys they LOGICALLY know will hurt them, but do so anyway because they are overrun by their emotions (sound familiar?). 
This is why women are attracted to 'badboys' rather than nice guys.  Bad boys are exciting - the range of emotions that a woman feels when she is around a badboy is infinitely more than what she feels when she is around a nice guy.  Nice guys are nice, they just give love and nothing else (apart from gifts and money) - they are predictable and boring.  Women want fun, excitement and unpredictability in their lives, not boring, normal, predictable every day routines.

The most important determinant of 'attractiveness' of a man to a woman is not his height, his bank balance, his looks, his clothes or what aftershave or cologne he wears.  It's his PERSONALITY!  Women are primarily attracted to personality over looks.  A dominant, alpha, confident, funny, positive attitude is what women want.  Most women of value would rather date a man with a good personality who is short and not particularly attractive, who is in a poorly paid job (I know a 5'5" tall fork lift truck driver who's dating a real hottie at the moment) to a tall highly intelligent man, who is bland, boring, shy and predictable with no personality at all (yes, I know many guys like this - I used to be one!).
Now, the good news is that it is possible to acquire these attractive personality traits!  Just like women know that their attractiveness is proportional to their looks, so they plaster their face in makeup, we can acquire psychological make up for our mind and personality!  It is possible to transform from having a totally 'ugly', boring, submissive, meek, shy, introverted personality to a fascinating, dominant alpha male who is irresistible to women - it just takes time and effort.  Read 'The Game' by Neil Strauss, about a short, gangly, thin, bald nerdy writer who transformed himself over the course of a year into one of the worlds best pickup artists.  Ross Jeffries, one of the guys who educated Neil Strauss, and the founder of the entire seduction community, is regarded by many as highly unattractive physically, but he is still able to seduce many beautiful women.  The fact is LOOKS do NOT correlate to attractiveness when it comes to the majority of women.  It's all about personality, and the FUN you can give women.  Cyndi Lauper said it best: Girls just wanna have fun!
When it comes to wealth, women of value are usually attracted to the CONFIDENCE that the wealthy man possesses, not the wealth directly.  The man's confidence gets him the money AND the women, it's rarely the money alone that gets the women.
I’ve been studying seduction for a long time now, on and off since June 2005, but pretty much constantly over the last year or so.   There are many techniques available, from NLP/Hypnosis approaches (similar to the approaches financial dommes use on us!) to routines and magic tricks, all the way through to working on ones inner belief system.  Although NLP seduction techniques are fascinating, and really do reveal a lot about how financial dommes ‘get into your head’, I find that it to be borderline unethical and quite manipulative.  Sure it works, you can drive up all number of emotions in a woman using NLP from feelings of fascination, attraction, and absolute lust, but it’s just artificial and fake.  Routines are similar, they are not as manipulative, but also seem fake.  I believe the best way to learn seduction is to learn it from the ground up - from your belief system.  If you build a belief system that a natural seducer has, you think like a natural seducer, and then you become a natural seducer!  Carlos Xuma has some great information on building positive alpha belief systems. 

You can find some good self-hypnosis CDs/MP3s (for you to play to yourself to reprogram your mind, not for you to use on women directly) at www.puainnergame.com. These recordings program your mind to increase self-esteem, gain confidence, increase social skills and eliminate social anxiety.  They are similar to the erotic hypnosis MP3's you can get from some dommes, but obviously these ones fill your mind with more positive suggestions!  I attribute a lot of my success, both at overcoming financial domination and to my ability with women, to these MP3's.  The increase self-esteem platinum recording and the No More Mr Nice Guy recording really helped me tremendously when it came to overcoming financial domination addiction.  The Dating Success Power Pack was also indispensable to building my confidence with women.
Good conversation ability is also very important when it comes to seduction.  From my experience, Juggler method covers conversation much better than any other method I have studied (and I have studied pretty much all the PUAs, including Ross Jeffries, Mystery, David DeAngelo, Carlos Xuma, Neil Strauss (Style), Ron Lois and David Copeland, Swingcat, Thundercat, Lance Mason, Zan, Gunwitch, hypnotica, badboy, Dave Riker, Orion & Kamal, Mehow, Maj Mark Cunningham, David Deida, David Shade, Tyler Durden (RSD) and Gambler).  Juggler's eBook is very good, as is his Charisma Seminar, which I was lucky to attend in March 2008. 

Leaving your domme

Now you have overcome your addiction, it's time to leave your domme.  The best way to do this is politely and respectfully with no abuse, insults or negativity.  Tell her you are wanting to focus on your career, or something like that.  Your domme will understand, unless she's some kind of evil psycho bitch lol.

Other ways to help

I have tried many, many crazy techniques to overcome this addiction.  Some worked, some didn't.  Here I'll list some additional techniques that can help overcome your addiction:
A note of warning though - You really should check with your doctor before taking any supplements.  They may interact with some of your current medications or cause complications.  I know you MUST NOT take St John's wort if you are currently being prescribed fluoxetine (prozac) or other prescription SSRI's due to the toxic interaction between the St John' wort and the SSRI.

1) St John's Wort supplements
St John's Wort is a herbal SSRI (an antidepressant).  This can help elevate your mood, make you more positive, and in high doses can help to reduce your sex drive temporarily (good if you have a very hard addiction to break... reduce the sex drive, and you reduce the urge to submit!)
You can purchase St John's wort supplements from any health store and most supermarkets.

2) 5-HTP (5-Hydroxytryptophan) supplements
5-HTP is an amino acid precursor to Serotonin - the 'feel good' chemical in your brain.  By supplementing with 5-HTP you can elevate your serotonin levels and feel happier.  Just like St John's wort, 5-HTP can be used to reduce sex drive in high doses.
You can purchase 5-HTP supplements from any health store.  I havn't seen this stocked in supermarkets yet as it is quite rare - health stores are the best place to get 5-HTP.

3) Liquorice supplements
A supplement you can use to reduce testosterone and thereby inhibit sex drive.  Just don't take too much of it (no more than 100mg/day of the active ingredient glycyrrhizic acid) or you'll be running to the toilet all day!
Again, this is best purchased from a health store.

4) Affirmations
Affirmations are positive phrases you repeat to yourself regularly, usually early in the morning, just before bed, when you are bored or when the need arises.  Affirmations must be emotionally charged to really work.
A good affirmation is 'I like myself!'  Repeat this to yourself 10 times each morning, while smiling and you really will feel a boost.  You can also repeat this whenever you are feeling down to give yourself a quick boost.
A good affirmation I like to use is 'I am dominant and alpha!'  This is useful for overcoming financial domination addiction and boosts self-esteem.  It will feel uncomfortable the first few times you say it as it will be totally outside your normal view of yourself, but that is proof you really should be saying it!
If you start daydreaming about your domme, repeat the 'I am dominant and alpha!' affirmation.  You will find that this counteracts the submissive desires you have.

5) Zero based thinking
I got this from Brian Tracy.  Basically, with zero based thinking you ask yourself:
Knowing what I now know, if I were to wipe the slate clean and start all over, would I get into financial domination again?
For me, it was a big HELL NO!
I also did this for BDSM, and for watching porn, and each time the answer was NO! 
Thinking back on my life so far there has been nothing that has decreased my self-esteem, affected my social life and hindered my success more than porn, BDSM and financial domination.

Additional study

Throughout my journal I have referred to some books, audio programs and hypnosis recordings.  I have decided to list these, and some other good resources here:


Influence by Dr Robert Cialdini
Frogs Into Princes by Bandler and Grinder
Introducing NLP by O'Connor and Seymour
The Psychology of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
How To Raise Your Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
The Mechanism of Mind by Edward DeBono
The Addictive Personality: Understanding the Addictive Process and Compulsive Behavior by Craig Nakken
Addictive Thinking: Understanding Self-Deception by Abraham J. Twerski
How To Win Friends And Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
The Game by Neil Strauss
The Mystery Method by Eric Von Markovik
The Art of War by Sun Tzu
What To Say When You Talk To Yourself by Shad Helmstetter
Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers
Double Your Dating eBook by David DeAngelo

Audio Programs:

The Psychology of Achievement by Brian Tracy (Audio CD)
Carlos Xuma's Secrets of the Alpha Man (Audio CD and eBook)
Speed Seduction Home Study Course by Ross Jeffries (Audio CD and workbook)

Hypnosis recordings (CDs/MP3s):

The Dating Success Power Pack from www.puainnergame.com
No More Mr Nice Guy platinum hypnosis recording from www.puainnergame.com
Increase your Self-Esteem platinum hypnosis recording from www.puainnergame.com
Master Social Finesse platinum hypnosis recording from www.puainnergame.com

This is a work in progress, so I will be adding to it.  I do hope you have benefited from the information here.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions.  I have created a Financial Domination Support Group Yahoo group as I don't really like the livejournal community forums.  The URL of this Yahoo group is:


Good luck!


( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 1st, 2008 12:35 pm (UTC)
...but I think you're going overboard on your claims about looks and money not mattering to women in relation to choosing a boyfriend....I wouldn't date a short ugly guy. And when a man has money he IS more attractive. It's a fact. (of course that doesnt matter if he's a disgusting person, you're right on that tip).

When two good personalities are competing for a girl, the attractive one is always going to win ;>

And height IS important. Most Women would be very unhappy with a guy who is shorter than them. It's a pet peeve for a lot of ladies... and I wouldn't be caught dead towering over a 'boyfriend'.

Which makes me want to mention how ridiculous Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise look together.
Oct. 11th, 2008 10:14 pm (UTC)
So from the time that has passed...

And from the lack of boys seeking "help"...

We can assume that 'recovery' is a moot point? HAHAHAHA

Perhaps it might be more reasonable to look at ways to remain 'healthy' in serving? Just a thought...
(Deleted comment)
Oct. 20th, 2008 02:12 am (UTC)
I put "healthy" in quotation marks because I think it's silly to think you can "recover" from being submissive. It's a personality trait, not a disease!

There are, however, healthy and unhealthy ways to explore submission. Even healthy and unhealthy ways of exploring financial fetishes. There is a huge difference between submission and self-destruction. HUGE. DIFFERENCE. (oh, except in fantasy jack off material, then it tends to be the same thing)

And, yes, the sadist in me finds humor in the failings of the masochist! Lucky for the masochist, no?!

Some other things in your reply tickled me:

"From all the complaining I used to hear moneydommes doing on forums, it would appear that many men "let down" their dommes quite regularly."

Oh, I'm quite aware of the number of men who "recover" as soon as they've shot their load. Only to "unrecover" as soon as they're aroused again. LOL

"Many people would find your post very unkind, which I presume was intentional. Why mock people who are trying to leave behind something that they have realized is no longer making them happy"

Because it was funny. I'm glad to see you've also recovered from having a sense of humor before it got too serious!!

"And if you do post such a comment, why not do it in such a way that doesn't provide a picture and a link that will remind men of the fetish that is making them unhappy?"

That's the way livejournal works, punkin!! Complain to livejournal that my link and picture that appear when I post is a temptation to submissive men and see if they can "fix" that so that grown men don't have to be responsible for their own actions!! I'm sure they'll help you out!

Be careful out there, sam, there's temptation everywhere!!

(Deleted comment)
Oct. 20th, 2008 10:04 pm (UTC)
There are many (if not most) financial submissive/masochists who serve without putting themselves in serious harm's way. There are those who simply serve out of a need for devotion. Or a need for control. Not out of a need for having their lives driven to the edge of destruction. These are very different.

The money that they give doesn't jeopardize their own financial stability, nor the stability of the other aspects of their life (i.e. other relationships and/or work, etc.).

These people are usually those who are able to be honest about what they want/need to give and how they are able to serve so that boundaries can be set.

They are also likely to be rational enough to understand the distinction between fantasy and reality so that even IF they fantasize about being "ruined" they are able to talk dirty about that without having it really drive them towards living in a van down by the river. Or even to understand that being "ruined" can mean a whole host of things, even (my favorite) being "ruined" for anyone else besides me because the dynamic of serving me is so intense and perfect.

There are an innumerable ways to experience and explore financial domination. The most extreme ways (i.e. hard core blackmail, etc.) practiced by people who are self-destructing represent a small part of it.

If you see lots of people talking about it as though it is ALL of financial domination, that doesn't change the fact that it's a small percentage, it simply means that you are reading too much fiction.
Dec. 16th, 2008 03:43 am (UTC)
Hello Goddess Sue, may i ask Ma'am do you practice hardcore blackmail, and if so have you fully exacted it on any of your subs and was it useful, meaning did you ultimately get what you wanted out of the sub you blackmailed. Thankyou,, shawn
Oct. 16th, 2008 03:22 am (UTC)
Terrifying Journey
Hi, myself i'am currently under the control of a Financial Dominatrix at present, she's a very powerful Woman, i mean that in the sense that even before i really orientated myself with what financial domination was all about i still had talked to several women online that referred to themselves as money dommes. Ok, well now to begin after talking to these women i really couldn't see how a guy could get lured in by this, now i know some of these women are no good at this, but beware if you do locate the right one, she will know how to push your buttons so to speak, you will meet the woman that is the master of manipulation. I mean lets face it most men that're seeking i believe at the time they're interested in checking out this fetish seem to be at a vulnerable time, and if you happen upon the Money Mistress that is very good at what she does, you're in for a ride, and she will take you on it. I actually cannot believe i'am where i'am at i'am a successful professionl guy, i went to college, have had good and bad relationships in my life, i'am 40 by the way, but to ever think that i would be under this type of control is depressing. Oh and yes to the one step of leaving the money domme, just tell her that you want to focus on a career, believe me it is very sound advice, but gentlemen the Dominatrix that i currently serve when i have told her this and emailed her this she is the one that did not wish me the best, just the opposite she used her skills to still prey on my vulnerabilites. Ok some people laugh and say just dont contact her, stay away, the urge will go away, ok very true in some instances, but can every person that tries to quit smoking quit, no. Believe me if you have started paying a Money Mistress that is a genuine artist at this she knows exactly what she is doing to you, she knows that the way she makes you feel is like cutting up a line of cocaine for an addict, sitting an alcoholic down in front of a glass of scotch, this is an intelligent woman, believe me some are even college girls that are intelligent, cunning, manipulative and dangerous when they know what your weaknesses are and use themselves as this drug. Well i'am not sure if this will help anyone i just wanted to enlighten men that there're women out their that're poisonous and evil and besides your money which they want they really wouldn't care if you were dead tomorrow. Scary thought isn't it. Shawn
Oct. 26th, 2008 11:10 pm (UTC)
Cold as Ice
As discussed up in the readings the Mistress i serve is not making this easy for me to leave her. I posted a couple of comments in the yahoo group. It should be so easy to just say i quit i'am sick and tired of this, but like real addiction i have one and it is difficult. Please read my comments in the yahoo group. Any helpful advice is welcomed. Shawn
Jan. 17th, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC)
Dont know whether you ever look at this anymore or whether you have actually managed to stay away. Very curious though. Is it possible that you might be Fox?

Am in very deeply. Torn between wanting to get out and not wanting to.

Trouble is have read most of those books. Difficult to transfer book knowledge to ones inner being.
Feb. 9th, 2009 08:21 am (UTC)
ahaha this is a GREAT article, I love where St. Johns Wort, Liquorice & other supplements are recommended.. LOL.
May. 1st, 2009 03:14 am (UTC)
I seriously doubt that the author of this journal was ever really into financial slavery, cuz this stuff isn't even ultimately about money, yet that is all he focuses on. And if you don't know what it is ultimately about, don't bother asking, cuz I'm not telling.
May. 3rd, 2009 12:21 am (UTC)
Thank you
That was a very well written post, and the similarities are oh-so-endless.
I hope i can escape it myself, and if i do you will have helped a lot.
Keep up the good work
Jan. 7th, 2010 11:22 pm (UTC)
First reaction = wow.

The part where you talk about getting pissed off really caught My eye though. Getting pissed off at the Domme when it's you who fucked up is very unrealistic. Getting mad at your own decisions is fine but don't get mad at a Domme who is only doing what she honestly advertised.

I'm glad I don't have a penis. Apparently they make you do very stupid things.

Jan. 17th, 2010 02:09 pm (UTC)
Re: Interesting....
I totally agree with you. This post was interesting yes, but the part where he talks about getting mad with a domme is nonsense in my opinion. I was a Money Slave till last year, now i'm trying to stop. But i will never, ever ever be mad with Mistresses. You all gave me what i was looking for (and what i am still looking for inside myself), why should i be mad with you?
YourMoneySlave.com is my blog...where i log all my attempts to stop this behaviour...
Aug. 19th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)
Re: Interesting....
Would love to know more. Arabian Goddess
Feb. 7th, 2010 03:35 pm (UTC)
Overcoming financial domination
Thanks for writing this post, it has helped me very much in reducing my submissive urges. I have found I can control myself better, and leave my Goddess Temporarily, however I keep having relapses! I can keep away from Goddess Tierra for about a month at the most before I start going back - reading Her blog, twitter, clips4sale stores, etc. I'm so frustrated now. It was my new years resolution in 2009 and 2010 to overcome money slavery, but I've already blown over $3000 dollars on Goddess so far in 2010. I really hope I can get this sorted, I just don't know what to do. I'm seeing a counselor at the moment but I don't think she has ever had anyone come to her with this problem before, she just says it's so easy to get into this stuff when your lonely and isolated and she made me promise her I wouldn't interact with Goddess Tierra again or view any of Her websites. I guess it's easier said than done :(.
Just like 'yourmoneyslave' above, I'm going to be recording all my attempts at overcoming this in my blog.
The more people who are working to address this issue the better. If we can all pool our ideas together we can overcome this.
Aug. 19th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)
Re: Overcoming financial domination
I'de like to use you slave. Arabian Goddess
Apr. 3rd, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
The addiction difference
Yes, you will think a 12-step or similar program will help you, but unlike alcohol that can be avoided, you can't avoid pulling a wad of cash or your plastic from you wallet when on a date and soon she'll have you eating out of her hand again.
Jul. 6th, 2010 06:02 pm (UTC)
If you can't shake it, check out
Aug. 3rd, 2010 07:51 am (UTC)
This post is very informative , I am really pleased to post my comment on this blog . I read your article about "financial-domination-support-group"It helped me with ocean of
knowledge so I really believe you will do much better in the future . Good job web master.

Aug. 15th, 2010 09:34 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure which is funnier
Is it funnier that more Findommes then "men in recovery" are posting here...
or is it funnier that some FinDomme wannabee on Niteflirt has plagiarized part of this article for her Niteflirt listing?
Sep. 23rd, 2010 08:23 am (UTC)
Re: I'm not sure which is funnier
@GoddessLauren - why don't you bury your fat, ugly face in the ground, before people see it.
Aug. 19th, 2010 08:33 pm (UTC)
Another "Domme" bites The Dust
Looks as if "The Spoiled Rich bitch" is history! What is it with you girls? You claim to be all about the "relationship" but we all know it's about the money. The Rochester hottie is off the table as are all her followers. Perhaps she made enough to retire or she went private. I am sure that if she quit the scene her followers will be professing their adoration to other dommes in no time. So all into findom be warned: give what you will but keep your heart and soul to yourself.
Aug. 27th, 2010 07:36 pm (UTC)
Good journal
I like the way this journal has been written and I really feel sorry for all sub guys who have been addicted to financial domination.
My advice to those who can´t decide whether they should keep serving or quit - why not just give small amounts of money instead of big ones? That way you would not get ruined and she should be happy anyway (getting cash for nothing), unless she´s a real disgusting bitch. Avoid extremes, don´t play this game dangerously. Stick to rules and you can´t get hurt.

Arella (www.mistress-arella.com)

Aug. 31st, 2010 09:50 am (UTC)
its harder to give up than you think
its all over the internet and when I see young cute teasing girls I get so weak and I can't help myself!

Does anyone know if Hypnosis really works ?
Sep. 3rd, 2010 07:09 am (UTC)
Nice site! All the comments are in your post are very useful to us.Thanks for insight this awesome post!

Sep. 15th, 2010 05:22 am (UTC)
Valuable information and excellent design you got here! I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and time into the stuff you post!! Thumbs up

Sep. 28th, 2010 03:31 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the article. I am really trying to control my urges, but dommes make it so difficult the way they write in their blogs etc. I really need help, and i really want to stop, but its the only thing that gets me off now. HELP
Oct. 19th, 2010 05:07 am (UTC)
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Oct. 24th, 2010 03:21 pm (UTC)
we will dominate
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Jan. 9th, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this journal. I was looking for a contact. Just wrote you a message on the yahoo-group. It would be a pleasure if you could answer me. I what love to ask you some additional questions, thus that I can as well overcome my addiction.
Jan. 9th, 2011 05:15 pm (UTC)
Thanks for this journal. I was looking for a contact. Just wrote you a message on the yahoo-group. It would be a pleasure if you could answer me. I what love to ask you some additional questions, thus that I can as well overcome my addiction. Could you please answer me.
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Jan. 10th, 2011 05:28 pm (UTC)
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Mar. 9th, 2012 01:57 am (UTC)
i can't understand!
i never read lot of stupidy and lies! i am a money slave and i enjoy it!
i never feel so good in another way, of course a moneyslave must be helped, but not to overcome his fetish! it is impossible (specially with St John's Wort lol!)
he must be helped to be a good boy for his Goddess, but only one, without wandering...

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )